Nobody offered me a damned thing
A woman was in bed with her lover when she heard her husbandopening the front door.
"Hurry" she said, "stand in the corner".
She rubbed baby oil all over him, then dusted him with talcum powder.
"Don't move until I tell you" she said. "Pretend you're a statue."
"What's this?" the husband inquired as he entered the room.
"Oh it's a statue," she replied. "The Smiths bought one and I liked it
so I got one for us, too."
No more was said; not even when they went to bed.
Around 2 AM the husband got up, went to the kitchen and returned
with a sandwich and a beer.
"Here" he said to the statue, "have this". "I stood like that for six
hours at the Smiths' and nobody offered me a damned thing."
